Domestic Violence, Part I

MckMama and her MckDaddy are guests today at the Focus on the Family seminars in Colorado. Why they’re there, who paid for their trip, what they needed to do to be guests, who knows. Hopefully they are not there to disperse advice in any form, but the trip came complete with a Mck-approved advertisement:

I have had a hard time writing a post on the domestic violence charges, even though commenters have asked for it. I have gone through and read the posts around MckDaddy’s arrest and it’s obvious that things weren’t great. I feel bad for MckMama of 2008. What would I write if I were in MckMama’s shoes? What would you share with strangers? The truth is I wouldn’t share this information if I were MckMama and I don’t think many others would volunteer it either.

BUT (and it’s a big but)

I would not preach marriage advice repeatedly over the next year, especially advice that does not apply to relationships involving domestic abuse. I saw this on another blog:

NO domestic abuse information or expert supports a wife becoming more submissive after domestic violence, and for a national blogger to praise these methods as saving her marriage after abuse could be detrimental to other women with marital and spousal abuse issues who read the blog.

Equally as concerning is her take that the problems were her fault for not being more submissive. No spouse deserves abuse for any reason. Period.

The second part of my big BUT is if the dirty laundry does get aired (as it was for MckMama), and public records are available, don’t continue to lie about what happened on your blog. You’re just asking for someone (like me and the commenters here) to shoot you down for it.

Once again, MckMama spun the truth – two arrests were one, time served was now “no jail time,” and relatives moved in on a whim, whereas in reality Israel McKinney was ordered to not have unsupervised contact with his wife while on probation.

Spin, spin, spin. It’s a common theme in the MckMama world.

Here are the facts; I’m not just rumor mongering.
You can find the information here:
Case numbers: 27-CR-08-42701 and 27-CR-08-46901

First arrest: 07/02/2008
Domestic Assault-Misdemeanor-Commits Act With Intent to Cause Fear of Immediate Bodily Harm or Death

And some blog posts…
From July 8:

“As our personal struggles have not been something I often feel the desire to blog in depth about, I have kept mum as to the recent storm that has broken directly over my husband and myself during the past week. This storm has driven me hard into the arms of my Savior and, as unbelievably difficult as this is to weather, I know I am in the Right Place, close to my Lord.”

From July 10:

“For reasons at this point entirely out of our control, Prince Charming will not be able to go to the appointment with me this morning and–yes–I am going alone.”

Second arrest: 08/25/2008

Nothing after this arrest about MckDaddy. It was, however, an OB appointment day to check Stellan’s heart.

COURT DATE: November 3, 2008

And from the weeks following:
November 9:

I deserve a break today. Actually, deserve isn’t the right word. As a matter of fact, it’s probably not even close to the right word. Because, if I was being honest with myself, I’d tell you that what I really deserve is death. I deserve to be separated from God for the evil that is in my heart and for the wrong that I have done and, if you must know, continue to do.

What I deserve is to die a slow, painful death like Jesus did. He never sinned, and yet He had to die like that. I sin every day, and yet by the grace and mercy of God, I know life. I do not experience what I deserve. I am at the same time humbled, thankful and awestruck that I should have even the chance to receive forgiveness for my wrongs and for the terrible ways I sometimes choose to think and act.

Oh, sure, I’m Supermom. We all know that by now. That is what this blog is about! My Charming Kids. All four of them. God’s work in Stellan’s life and in my heart. How I feed them organic food and take them on outings. Heck, we just got back from the Children’s Museum where we spent the entire day playing and learning. I’m a wonderful mom. I’m a super mom. It’s fun to talk about that. And, truly, that is what I intended this blog to be about.

And that’s okay. This mostly one-sided blog. It’s fine and healthy and entertaining and fun for me to talk about my life as a mother.

But what is not so fun is the truth that I am significantly less than super in a throng of other areas in my life. I repeatedly require forgiveness for the same shortcomings. I need grace and mercy on a minute-by-minute basis.

November 13:

….Prince Charming and I decided to let his teenage brother move in downstairs. Tonight. He’s moving in.

November 18:

And, just like that, Uncle Duke moves back out. Ahh, fickle teenagerhood. Wait!? What am I talking about!? I’m 31 and I’m still fickle. So, no hard feelings.

November 24:

But, Prince Charming’s mama was looking for a transition (PC’s dad died when we were in high school and his mama raised Uncle Duke and now had been living by herself since he graduated high school and moved out.). I say “had” because she moved in to our lower level this weekend–Oh, with her dog, too. Gotta keep life interesting over here!–so she could stay with us through the winter and spring.

Current Legal Status for Israel McKinney: Satisfied 04/09/2009.
The “Queen Mum” moved some time in May/June 2009. Date unknown.

More information on her marriage posts and “spin control” coming in Part II.


11/22/2013 edit: The original police reports were sent to MWOP by a reader and are linked below.

Police report: July 2, 2008

Police report: August 25, 2008

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